Have you ever wanted to call your child’s writing “crap?” Have you ever even thought it? Be honest with yourself. A close friend of mine did just that…and boy, did she regret it. But it happened. It just came out of her mouth. Or, as she wrote in an e-mail to me and a couple friends a few weeks ago:
“So Amanda* asked me to print her written report about Susan B. Anthony. for a social studies project. …didn’t read it–she didn’t ask me to and usually won’t let me–but noticed the first paragraph:
Susan B. Antony had many important impacts on society. The reason I would like to write about her, personally, is because her contributions had the most impact on Women’s lives everywhere.
I politely suggested that the second sentence would read much more effectively without “, personally,” The word doesn’t add anything and also can make the sentence ambiguous. As I was trying to use this as a teaching moment about writing, she grabbed it out of my hand, told me it doesn’t matter, it’s just for social studies, not language arts, and that she had to add “personally” so everyone knew it was her opinion, not a fact. I then did the wrong thing. I said fine, if you don’t care then I don’t care that it’s a piece of crap. Yup, I said crap. (I apologized later.) I also noticed a ton of extraneous commas, but I didn’t get that far…..
Temper, temper.”
The e-mail transitioned into a story about her other daughter Josephine. Apparently, Josephine was “saving” all her tempers for her mom at home, and not once throwing a temper nor even whining with her teachers at preschool.
Our friend Kate’s response:
“As someone who has been there, done that, when it comes to botched teaching moments I say cut yourself some slack! I am more surprised/disappointed that you didn’t comment on the phrase “had many important impacts on society” 
I’m glad Josephine is doing well – yes she will take things out on you for the rest of your life, which is why at some point you may tell her that something she has written is crap!”
The final line of Kate’s response prompted me laugh, and got me thinking (yet again!) just how darn complicated this mother-daughter dance can be when it comes to school work.
I had a full client load as a tutor in Connecticut, partly because parents say those things (at times). ”Professionals” put their working hat on. It’s easier for teachers and tutors in many ways because they can more easily tune in & out. Parents, they live with the kids.
In subsequent e-mails we figured out ways prevent such a screw up. Stay tuned.
