“Face it parents, you will be judged” is the message at the start of an article of 10 controversial parenting tips from an ABC correspondent in Phoenix, Arizona. Four self-proclaimed parenting experts chime in with their opinions, sometimes agreeing and sometimes disagreeing, and almost always offering a slightly different way of looking at situations all parents face at some point in the parenting journey. There are questions about spanking, schooling, and teenage drinking, for instance. It’s an interesting read. But at the end of the day, the person making the ultimate decision of what to do with your child is you. Yet, there are others around you, watching you (not to mention your kids needing you). As the author Eva Bowen eloquently states in her opening lines: “Parents, listen up! It's the first rule of parenting that every new parent will quickly learn: you WILL … [Read more...]
Thursday is It’s Cool Being a Parent Day
One of the coolest things about being a parent is being challenged to practice what you preach. Siena’s usually the superstar in her swim class. She’s a bit older than the other kids in her class, and she’s fearless. I definitely felt the “proud Mama” vibe when her swim instructor asked us to move her into the more advanced, older group in the summer. I felt it, recognized it, and tried not to get too carried away with it, knowing that I have an entire life ahead of me of to hear about Siena being more “advanced” in some areas, and challenged in others. At the same time, I’ll admit it. I did call my mom about the news. Coming from “a swimming family,” I knew that the coach’s request would solidify an important narrative about us, indirectly strengthening a bond across the generations. The real test came today when Siena “bombed” portions of the … [Read more...]
I’m Sure I Could Have Handled It Better
Have you ever wanted to call your child’s writing “crap?” Have you ever even thought it? Be honest with yourself. A close friend of mine did just that…and boy, did she regret it. But it happened. It just came out of her mouth. Or, as she wrote in an e-mail to me and a couple friends a few weeks ago: “So Amanda* asked me to print her written report about Susan B. Anthony. for a social studies project. …didn't read it--she didn't ask me to and usually won't let me--but noticed the first paragraph: Susan B. Antony had many important impacts on society. The reason I would like to write about her, personally, is because her contributions had the most impact on Women’s lives everywhere. I politely suggested that the second sentence would read much more effectively without ", personally," The word doesn't add anything and also can make the sentence ambiguous. As … [Read more...]
Five Reminders about Perfect Parents
I often wonder why my daughter Siena behaves one way with her caregivers Ms. Debbie & Kiki and a completely different way with me. She hops into the car without a fuss when she’s with Ms. Debbie. She goes to bed in a matter of moments when she’s with Kiki. These are the two women who care for her…but I’m a woman who takes care of her too. Why be a pain in the butt with your mom, Siena, but be a perfect angel for everyone else? The question has prompted me to take a deeper look into parent-child dynamics, and into ways that we can reframe what it means to be a “perfect parent” or a “perfect child.” Five key reminders include: 1. Humans are hard-wired to explore. We have brains that operate via electrical impulses that stimulate the activation and movement of neurons. Sometimes the neurons jump over pathways; other times they forge new pathways. Best … [Read more...]

