Life Lessons of a Failed Belt Test

September 21, 2010 By Dr. K Leave a Comment

Yesterday I wrote about Luke, a precocious 7 year-old who is struggling in school because other kids are noisy and disruptive in class.  I want to give you more background on Luke….as a reminder to all of us that we face different types of challenges each day.  Learning how to deal with challenges in life, including a group of kids in your classes who bug the heck out of you, is what the staff teach and model at my family’s Martial Arts Academy….as this story will tell. Luke failed his first belt test at the Academy in January 2009.  His mom Jennifer e-mailed my husband (the Head of School) that evening thanking him for holding Luke to high standards.  She wrote: “Thank you for helping us to teach Luke that there are times that he will have to work for something.  Until today he has never struggled to achieve anything.  Everything has always come very easily to him.  It … [Read more...]

Filed Under: A Mom's Job, Character, Martial Arts

“But Mom, I Want to Learn!”

September 20, 2010 By Dr. K 1 Comment

Jennifer, a mom of a self-described “super smart, super geek” 7 year-old asked for advice last week about supporting her son through a terrible time at school.  Her son Luke is having a hard time dealing with the fact that he, in his own words, “wants to learn” but is not able to because he’s stuck in a class with kids who talk all the time and disrupt the teacher.  He can’t stand the fact that these kids “goof off” and, worse, share a table with him.  Jennifer feels lost.  When she was growing up, she was the “goof” who talked out of turn all the time.  She had never put herself in the shoes of the student who wanted – and needed – to be around others who were quiet and respectful of the teacher and the class rules.  Now, it's her son in those shoes. Luke’s a great kid.   Super smart, as his mother glowingly attests to, respectful and focused.  He reads … [Read more...]

Filed Under: A Mom's Job, Character, Parent Teacher Conferences

Are “Back to School Experts” Forgetting a Key Ingredient to Success?

August 17, 2010 By Dr. K Leave a Comment

It's TURNAROUND time in millions of American households right now.  We're turning to a new schedule, a new routine, a new group of people in our childrens' lives.  New teachers, new peers in class, new demands.  Now is the time to start BUILDING those important, effective homework habits.  Often, though, we forget that it's also time to continue nurturing our relationship with our kids. Sure, we can help our kids build excellent Homework Habits.  We can, for example, help them set up a study area in their room.  ScholarFit's homework tip sheet is just the beginning...(and man, it's a good beginning!). I'm here, though, to remind you of something else....of a core lesson for all parents. A wise mom of three ranging in age from 6 to 13 sent me an e-mail last spring after getting in a fight with her teenage son about his forgotten homework.  “He’s trying to get control, … [Read more...]

Filed Under: A Mom's Job, Back to School

One Proud Mama

May 21, 2010 By Dr. K Leave a Comment

Here's a letter from a proud Mama read aloud to the 24 families at tonight's belt graduation at the Martial Arts Academy.   Siblings, grandparents, and of course moms and dads were there to congratulate loved ones who had earned the distinction of a new color or stripe on their karate belt. The most important member of that audience, though, was Jordan, a twelve year old girl who sat silently as her mom's voice sent all of us on a journey of their past two and one half years together: Dear Mr. Brad, In recommending Jordan for advancement to Brown Belt I have spent time thinking about how my girl has changed in the 2 ½ years she has trained at your school. I thought of how she started as a student of your Kid's Systema class, in part, just to make her dad happy.  I thought about how angry Jordan was when Paul and I decided she needed more training than the one day per week afforded … [Read more...]

Filed Under: A Mom's Job, Bullying, Commitment, Martial Arts

The Power of Your Voice and the Ease of Your Hug

May 20, 2010 By Dr. K 2 Comments

Thursday is It's Cool Being a Parent Day! One of the coolest things about being a parent is that you matter.  All it takes is your voice to calm down your stressed out child.  Sure, you may think that your son or daughter wants nothing to do with you at times, but the fact of the matter is that you matter.  Take a recent study conducted at the University of Wisconsin for example.  Researchers put 61 pre-teen girls in stressful situations by making them give impromptu speeches and solve math problems in front of a group of strangers.  The girls’ hearts raced, and their cortisol levels (a stress hormone) shot up.  The researchers then tweaked the social situation in one more way: they let a third of the girls talk on the phone to their mothers.  Another third of the girls got actual hugs from their mothers, and the other third watched an “emotion-neutral” 75 minute video. Guess … [Read more...]

Filed Under: A Mom's Job, Stress Management Tagged With: It's Cool Being a Parent
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